Perpetual Child

It occurred to me today that in many ways I have not grown up. What I mean by this is that I have failed to adopt many of the behaviours that I used to associate with being a grown-up (woman) and I really can’t see that changing. Let me give you a few examples:

1. I don’t wear make-up.

Now, of course, this could be a very grown-up feminist thing for me to do – to consciously choose not to play into female beauty stereotypes, etc. However, I have to be honest and admit that this doesn’t play a huge role in the fact that I don’t wear make-up. The truth of the matter is that I just feel silly putting it on and, well, I’m really quite lazy about personal presentation (I rarely brush my hair, for example).

When I was in high school I use to wear a star-shaped sparkly sticker on my face and glitter around my eyes. I did it for fun. It made me happy. If make-up made me feel the same way I’d totally wear it, but the fact is that it doesn’t. Take away the glitter and it’s just boring.

I bought some make-up for my wedding (a lip-liner, an eye-liner and some mascara) and after I’d put it on I really didn’t look any different. What’s the point? (I totally should have worn glitter).

2. I don’t wear high heels. I don’t even own any.

Again, this could be a very grown-up feminist thing for me to do (see above), but again the truth is far more boring. I can’t see the point of high heels. They are uncomfortable and I am quite happy with my height (which is very short, for the record). I don’t feel the need to pretend that I am taller.

Of course, there is also the sad truth that I cannot walk in high heels. I tried one memorable Law Ball while I was an undergrad at Uni and the result was quite embarrassing. Added to this is the fact that I have enough trouble finding any shoes in Australia to fit my tiny size 5 feet that I have no reason to add to my burden by trying to find superfluous shoes.

I was informed by many a person that my wedding dress was the kind of dress that (apparently) had to be worn with high heels. My response? I wore sparkly green slippers. Yes I did. (I told you that I am a child).

3. I hate wine and beer. Honestly they both taste like crap to me (unless the wine has sparkles in it, then I like it – seeing a theme yet?).

I used to think that my taste buds would mature one day and I would enjoy the taste of these drinks, but this simply has not happened. I really can’t stand them. I think wine tastes like vinegar. Fortunately, P isn’t much of a drinker and I have realised that I really don’t care. Wine is bloody expensive and I am quite glad not to have something else to spend my money on.

4. I still laugh at toilet humour – every single time.

This makes it basically impossible for me to raise my daughter to behave appropriately. I have been forced to leave this for P because, well, I am a child.

5. I like to go to bed before 9pm.

For the past three years I have gone to bed with Lily. Rarely has this been much of a burden. I like to sleep and I like to get up early.

6. My emotions are extremely easily manipulated my media.

I cry during Kleenex commercials because the puppy is so soft. I cannot watch scary movies because I get too scared (and have nightmares). I sob inconsolably during sad movies and television programs. It is quite pathetic really.

The odd thing is that my mother has never really been a typical adult (woman) either. She has never worn make-up or high heels (though probably for more ideologically sound reasons than me) and she is impulsive and has a child-like enthusiasm for life that has always amused me. I used to introduce her to people as ‘my mother the teenager’. So I wonder why I thought that I would grow up to be more ‘mature’? Where did I get these crazy ideas from?

How about you? Are you surprised by the kind of adult you have become? Has your idea of ‘being an adult’ changed now that you are one?