Letter to Lily - 60 months (5!)

Dear Lily

On the 14th of March you turned five.

FIVE!

Morning of 5th birthday

I can't quite believe how big you are.

I also can't believe that I haven't written you a letter for 2 and a half years. I couldn't possibly hope to capture everything that has happened in that time. You have grown up so much.

Let me try to capture some of the detail.

Toadstool cake

When you were around 2 & 3/4 I introduced you to the Magic Faraway Tree books and you have been hooked every since. You know them back-the-front and can recite large swaths of it from memory. We even celebrated your 4th birthday with an Enchanted Wood party. You dressed up as Silky.

'Riding' to preschool - day 3

Just before your third birthday you started preschool at Blue Gum Community School in Canberra. You really thrived. It was an excellent place - inspired by Reggio and Nature Education philosophies - and you really loved it. While you were there you learned to swing yourself on the swing (after spending the first few months monopolising one of the teachers to continuously push you). You discovered a deep love of art and learned some amazing techniques like felting and mosaic and clay sculpture. You also made some gorgeous friends.

Snuggles with Charlie

When you were 3 & 1/2 your little brother Charlie arrived into our lives. You adored him from the start, but I have to admit that the transition from being our only child to being one of two was far from an easy one. We clashed a lot and I handled many parts of this transition particularly badly. We are really only just finding our feet again on this front.

Singing at the farmers market, Collingwood Children's Farm

When you were 4 & 1/2 we moved to Melbourne. It was a huge thing for us to do and again the transition was pretty unsettling for you, but I think we have all dealt with it a lot better this time. You were very reluctant to leave Canberra, but really gave Melbourne a chance and found that you really enjoyed exploring a new city. You particularly love the Collingwood Children's Farm, the new cafes and restaurants, the trains and trams, and our new neighbourhood. You also started a new preschool 3/4 of the way into the school year and still managed to enjoy it and socialise. I think that is pretty impressive.

First day of school

Walking home from the train

Then in February this year you started primary school. Again you have really thrived, despite being almost the youngest in the class. You truly love school and the rhythm and predictability of the Steiner curriculum really suits you. You have even brought many aspects of it home. We now say a 'blessing' before our meal, have a 'nature table' in our loungeroom, and you have firmly requested that I sing to you when I want your attention (which feels odd, but actually works).

with Tinky (the guinea pig)

For your birthday this year we welcomed Tinky and Winky (the guinea pigs) into our home. They (and their paraphernalia) were your main birthday present from family and it has been lots of fun watching them grow and settle in to our house.

Jungle Cake

We kept your birthday party small this year, but went all out with decorations. It was quite fun changing the dining room into a jungle, and I also enjoyed making your wacky cake. You dressed up as a tiger (with mama-made ears & tail and plain black clothing for the rest), Charlie was a monkey (though arguably the costume was superfluous). It was lovely to see you having so much fun with your new school friends. 

As part of your birthday celebrations at school they went around the class and everyone said something that they like about you. Your teacher, Alison, told us that many children commented that you were a good friend. This rings true to me Lily and makes me very proud of the person you have grown up to be.

Along with being a good friend, you are also great company, generous, witty, articulate, curious, compassionate, loud, analytical, sensitive, highly energetic, kooky, artistic and possess an incredible memory. Oh, and I love you so very very much.

love mama

xox

Letter to Charlie - 16 months

Dear Charlie

On Thursday you turned 16 months old.

The last two months have been all about language for you. You have been learning at least one new word a day and have been very focused on communication. At times this has led to frustration, when you haven't had the words to express what you want, but generally it has been a great thing.

Your new appreciation for words has extended your love of books and you now have the patience to sit through longer storybooks. Your current favourites are 'Kisses for Daddy,' 'Meg and Mog,' 'I Spy in the Juggle,' 'Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes,' and 'Bumping and Bouncing.'

On the second-last page of Bumping and Bouncing two little people go for a pony ride. This is your favourite page and you have made it very clear to Papa, Lily and I that you are quite determined that you too will go for a pony ride AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. In the meantime you have had to be content with riding the rocking horse, which can you now do all by yourself. How did you get so big?

Other favourite activities of yours include 'jumping' on the trampoline (you can't quite jump yet, so instead you run around in crazy circles crashing into the barrier); being pushed on your swing; digging in the sandpit; water the plants; dressing up (particularly in necklaces, rainbow scarfs and Lily's clothes); drawing (mostly on paper); playdough (including the odd sneaky sample); turning anything and everything into cars that room around the floor; dancing; and going for a walk in the neighbourhood.

While strolling along our street you particularly like to push a toy along in the stroller; to stop and chat to the terracotta warrior in a neighbour's garden a few door's down; to pick the flowers that escape out from under people's fences; and to collect as many sticks as your little hands can carry home.

Last week was a bit dramatic. Papa and I had planned to nightwean you, because none of us were getting much sleep due to your habit of feeding all night. But when the time arrived I just couldn't face it and so I waved Papa away and fed you all night once again. The next day all that sleep deprivation finally caught up with me and I got quite sick. I struggled to feed you the following two nights and by Sunday morning Papa had to take me to hospital. And so you had your first night away from me after all and we nightweaned you by default. It's been an exhausting week for your poor Papa, but you have coped very well. There have been some tears at night, but you've shown no trace of distress during the day at all.

This morning Papa has taken you and Lily to the family day at Collingwood Children's Farm. They do pony rides and we are hoping they'll let you have a turn. I can't wait to see a photo.

love
mama
xo

Paddle pool

It was 35 degrees (Celsius) today. Fortunately I finally bought a paddle pool last week.

I think it would be stating the obvious to say that the kids like it.

Bedtime appears to have gone out the window

Bother

Division of labour

I have long believed that a happy partnership means that both partners have to contribute fairly equally to the household and that no one should be left with the worst job of all: monitoring the other's contribution.

To make this possible I think a fairly clear division of labour can help to reduce the amount of boring negotiations over household chores.

This is roughly how we have come to divide ours (for now, obviously things will change as kids grow etc):

Me:
Meal planning
Cooking & food prep
Food shopping
Gift planning & buying
Daytime clean up (including dishes - although he often does breakfast ones before work)
Schedules (ours & kids)
Breastfeeding
Charlie nighttime parenting
Weekday at home parenting work

Him:
Evening clean up (including dishes)
Paid work
Bill paying
Banking
Mail sorting, dealing with contents
Lily nighttime parenting, including story & bedtime
Driving (when we're together)
IT troubleshooting

Both:
Gardening
Constant tidying
Holiday planning & booking
Parenting
Bathroom cleaning
Laundry (but he does far more than me)
Household shopping
Farmers market shopping

Of course sometimes he cooks or shops for food, and sometimes I clean up in the evening or do the banking, but this is the general pattern.

Do you have a pattern at your place or do you tend to alternate more?

NY Resolutions 2012

Practice yoga weekly

Take a daily walk

Learn to meditate & practice daily

Write more

Finish PhD

Read more books & keep a reading journal

Find the time to volunteer (@ Fitzroy legal centre?)

Eat more raw food

Be more grateful

Keep decluttering/simplifying

Help others more often

Cycle more, drive less

Stick with meal planning

Be kinder, especially with my family & self

Stop reading drivel/hateful opinion pieces/the comments on news sites

Eat far less sugar

Stop mindlessly checking email, twitter & Facebook

Stop using canned food

Christmas 2011

Our Christmas was full on and over-the-top, as usual, and the kids had a ball, as usual.

Every year I oscillate between acceptance and panic as the scale of our Christmas(es) with our many large, boisterous & excessively generous families dawns on me.

Every year, at some point, I try to hatch plans for what we could do less of; how we could reduce the avalanche of gifts; how it could be contained, somehow. And every year, at some point, I watch the sheer joy that it brings the kids and I surrender.

I have yet to find a balance...